-Dian Hanson

Thank you. Sometimes, I don't know how people view this diary. Either I'm some kind of entertainment for those of you at work or, if I'm lucky, someone you'd like to meet. Just knowing that there are a few people that look beyond the usual thrill or amusement from a laugh or 2 means something to me. I'm hoping that this week's waiting for my mom's doctor's apointment will turn out for naught in regards to cancer.

Note: There is no breast cancer within my family tree. What does worry my mom is alzheimer's since she hates seeing her mother lose the smallest things in thought.

So, I've had an action packed day all thanks to slowly overcoming this nasty cold. I've taken advantage of this sudden surge in energy that had me so angry about having to sit there shivering while everyone else was outside. Dammit, I wanted to run with my dog so bad!

My local bookstore, Border's to be exact, has a weird thing going on in its parking lot. Geese, a few here and there, like to sleep in the parking lot. You'll find that there is the lone one that will be awake to guard. As small-brained as this animal is, these geese know that lazy Americans prefer to park as close to the store as possible so they sleep at a distance.

While in the bookstore (and nearly going orgasmic because Kim Harrison's new book came out!), I came across the girl that helps the retarded guy from my gym. Remember him? He's the guy that various older people laugh at when he spazzes out. You'd think that age would make people a bit more thoughtful but welcome to my gym. Girls flash their thongs, with working out comes arrogant asses, and all sorts of things to make you realize there is only some maturity.

Anyway, this college girl is basically the guy's caretaker. She works with him for school but takes time out to help him with what he really wants, to work out. I've rarely come across someone with such a disability that enjoys sweating with the arrogant folk. It seems that the endorphin rush plays with his head just as it does mine.

Oh, and, yes, the gym does bring about the good times. I know I give you the impression that the place I work out is filled with assholes that constantly tell me they want to fuck my female friends walking around. Richard is one of these but he's a good guy enough that I let that slide, especially with what he did next.

Richard likes good old rock n roll music for his soul. No surprise since he constantly brings up the old joke where I ask him what he's listening to that day:

Richard: "The Who!?! The Who!?!

I'll groan while Richard laughs at his joke. He loves The Who........and The Rolling Stones, Clapton, and just about anything else from 70's. Richard is 55 and with a cause. Never mess with a large fat man and his music as he dances.

And dance he did! Richard shook his can while listening to something on his CD player. I don't care how much this man embarassed himself. It was awesome to see a guy let loose like that since he deserves it. A divorce costing $10,000 in lawyer fees will provide anyone with the smallest form of entertainment when it's great to get rid of an alcoholic ex-wife.

Note: Slut Watcher came up to me again to tell me he wants to fuck my gorgeous friend from Ohio State. If that's the case, why tell me? A 50-something year old guy is shy about a girl? Why tell me, again?

Watched a bit of that classic horror movie while doing my usual daydreaming up at the ceiling. Nothing beats a sexy pink-haired punk rocker played by Leanna Quigley that gets completely naked to dance while a boombox plays only to be eaten by the dead.

How to make a really cool sex blog:

1). Smile. A lot of guys (me, too) complain that women look completely bored or hardened while posing nude. Smile! You're naked! It should be fun to hear the click of a camera collecting your naked body.

2). Talk about more than sex. Even if you are doing it every single day, know that there have been events happening throughout that you can talk about. Show smarts and that we shouldn't just expect life as being between your legs. I love the beauty of pussy but respect smarts more when you can tell me who Barney Frank is and why it was amazing that he could stand up to Rev. Al Sharpton back in 2004.

3). Change the scenery. Posing naked in front of the same place over and over gets boring. Men's minds tend to take this into account, remember, and then grow tired because the fantasy is over.

4). Bondage. Like it or not, there is a huge fetish for this when it comes to men/women in powerful jobs. Bondage is a release of some sort where someone either wants to have control or give control. I'm not into pictures of this subject but have come across a few that were quite sexy. If you want to get extra kinky, look up Chinese rope bondage.

5). Tease. I hate it when girls start a series of pictures where she's already nude. Boring. Bring things up slowly because the anticipation of seeing breasts, ass, and pussy is just as much fun. Not teasing shows lack of thought in promoting the sex blog.

6). Urination. Well, we all know a lot of guys love to watch women pee. Again, this is not a fetish of mine so I tend to be fascinated with why it's so popular. The squatting? The mystery in female urination since there is none for us guys? If you are going to take pictures of yourself peeing, don't do it so close-up. You look like someone's placed a sooper-soaker watergun underneath you and has sent you flying upwards.

7). Pussy. Clean it. Fluff your pubes if you have any. Hold the lips apart. Know that it is absolutely the most gorgeous genitals between the sexes. Show it before and after arousal. It's quite sexy to see it wet but also especially erotic to see the milky fluid leak out after a masturbation session. We want to know you got off. Plus, show everything and, yes, that means your cute little asshole cleverly hidden. Am I the only guy willing to admit to loving the sight of a girl's asshole?

8). Props. One of the most beautiful erotic photos I have ever seen was of a woman on her back with her legs up in the air. The viewpoint was of her pussy but you could not see it due to a beautiful flower placed between her legs. I've always wanted this photo for a larger size and framed. You don't always have to be explicit but imply.

9). Penises. So, you've got a dick. Not many girls I know go all out to hunt for pictures of dicks on the 'Net. A few girls I know do and love to look at them. The saddest part about guys that have explicit sex blogs is how there is no creativity to follow when presenting themselves. No girl I know wants to see a picture of a guy standing there with a half-hard weiner. Again, the creativity factor comes up. Place a bow-tie on it or something but don't just stand there in a filthy room with various porn mags and cola products surrounding you.

10). Masturbation. Oh, lordy! Ah do love a girl that masturbates in front of me. We guys are so turned on when watching a woman lose herself in achieving an orgasm. Sit right back and watch fingers or toys go in and come right back out. The smell of sex is in the air as I take mental notes on various things while enjoying the entertainment. Show this but talk deeply about your enjoyment because I've seen that the topic of masturbation brings about a lot of responses and debates.

So, that's all your gonna get on sex blogs for now. I've got various other things to do. I'm not saying I'm an expert but the fact that I own hundreds of erotic photography books should tell you something. Yes, there is beauty in a woman's pussy. What surprised me is that the women I dated through my years of owning these books was actually a turn-on. Seriously. Girls I know love to see pictures of naked women just as I do. Well, as long as you hold interests in politics and life as well (I have enormous collections of so many other things). Otherwise, you're just a pervert. Wait'll Sara sees these books.

Again, thank you for the thoughts. I'm always glad that my honest brainfarts get to people. Maybe someday I'll start talking politics even if no one wants to give me their 2 cents. I mean, Bush has a scandal every week. Sex is the only subject where everyone comes out to give me their time without worry of what others think. I'm proud of being a Libertarian so is everyone so shy of sharing politic beliefs? Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07