-Justin Timberlake

I have this insane habit of always coming across my old college friend, Jason, in a bookstore. It's every year at some point that I'll recognize him or he'd appear in front of me as I scour the aisle for a book or 2. My best way of describing my friend, Jason, to you is 'a retarded version of the movie star, Jason Statham.'

Jason and I had a short talk as we always end up doing in the bookstore's cafe. Gotta love free Wi-Fi! It was here that I learn Jason got laid off and is now looking for a new job. No issues but it seems like everyone is getting laid off. Circuit City cut 3,400 jobs just recently.

What I should not be surprised about is Jason's weird habit. At 37 years of age, I've wondered what a man of that age looks for in a girl because all he does is date and dump over the smallest things. His most recent is about to be dumped for being 'boring.' Can't wait to see the surprise on her face as Jason asks her out to coffee only to dump her.

Serial-dating? It's not a myth from what I've seen with Jason. Other friends, not so much. What bothers me is dumping someone over the smallest things but then it got to me. Maybe Jason is the 'boring' one only he doesn't realize it. Good friends just might not be great for the opposite sex.

Of course, I've dated. Ugh. Don't remind me of how awful that can be because you come across so many freaks in this world that are so oblivious to why they are single. All my girlfriends were friends first so I used that as a safety net. Sara has a few hilarious stories in her blog that I have not forgotten.

But Jason makes me wonder. He's 37 (by no means is that 'old') but his fixation on finding perfection is just not with me. What I cannot figure out is how he meets so many women only to dump them. My girlfriends came into my life not in bushels but in here and theres. In no way was I standing on the corner only to have a limousine skid around the corner to dump comic book lovin' freaks in the sheets.

Every person I've ever slept with/dated brought something new. Beth was the introduction and, of course, Kristan started me off in my absolute love of being a pussy hound. Jen brought a sense of playfulness and J opened my curiousity into how a girl can be bi-sexual. Sara is, well, a whole different world for me, a mix of a lot of things new and old. I feel safe with her more than any girl I've ever found myself waking up with.

Definition of pussy hound: The type of guy that will bury his face in between a girl's legs to pleasure her but still remain there long after her orgasm by continually playing with her pussy since he's constantly mystified by it. Either that or he'll put the girl's feet up to her ears and lick her like an artist embracing the challenge of a new canvas.

It was kind of weird spending time with Jason, the older college student, and, yes, I do pick on him about this. There is something about sharing a doobie with a 30-year-old while you are in your early 20's as a large amount of Asians giggle at how the jibber jabber is coming from the muscular stoned white dude. Yeah, I was reeeeeeeaaaaally baked that night and just could not shut up.

So, the whole point is that I don't know why or how people date such a large amount of people. What do they want? Sex is sex. It's not great all the time nor is life with a lover going to be absolutely perfect. To me, the boring people are the ones that come home after work in a huge rush because they cannot wait to devour the whole bag of Cheeto's before the cat gets to it.

Lifetime Channel did a recent movie about the horrors of binge drinking on campus. Funny. In my opinion, it just made it more glamorous. Since when does a female alcoholic sorority girl wake up looking so great after a night of blowing 3 frat guys? Where were the dry chunks of vomit upon waking up late for class? People complaining of her breath? The look of horror on a guy's face as he's about to go down on her only to find she smells of piss and shit thanks to wearing the same panties/thong 3 days in a row? Friends avoiding her because of how bad she smells? That embarassing moment where she passes out with 1 of her tits fully exposed so that everyone comes by to give it a twirl? Overflowing toilet thanks to the combination of sorority girl vomit from eating disorders and regular vomit from alcohol? Woken up with smeared make-up and no longer caring because class will soon be over and it's off to the bars at noon? Let's bring some realism if we're gonna teach our youth about the horrors of life.

I've got to ditch thanks to the need of waking up early for an appointment tomorrow morning. So, so sorry, folks. It's been one of my goals to get out of my old job since that place just fucked my head up worse each year. I'll keep my promise of doing Part 2 on sex blogs as soon as I can.

So, I'm outta here after a long day of being all over the place once again. Yes, 5-Pound Phooey and I did our 2 runs no matter how ridiculous we look. One's huffin' and puffin' while the other nearly started a fight with a poodle. Can you guess which one was me? Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07