Brian Jones: "Race you."

-Stoned

After watching Stoned for a short bit, I must admit that it answered an age-old question for me. Being a rock star is the only profession where it's perfectly excusable for completely naked males to be in such close proximity. It is a well-known Man Law that penises are to never be closer than 10 feet but not for Brian Jones and Keith Richards.

A majorly busy day brings about a night of reminiscing of the fondest. Just a short while ago, my little 5-Pound Phooey was seen snoozing away in the leather chair. The second run wore her out completely because her eyes trying to watch me had a hard time staying open.

We did. 5-Pound Phooey and I ran hard but it all of her insistence. The perfect cool weather brought a little something extra inside for running longer portions of time. I loved it because I also got to run into a man I haven't seen since I was in middle school.

A long time ago, I had a friend named George. He was my complete opposite. While I was jock, he was geek of many colors. Hardly bad because George introduced me to a lot of things I probably wouldn't have realized I loved, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (the darker side, Eastman/Laird), Robotech (VERY geeky), a hell of a lot of Nintendo shit that I've forgotten by now.

With George, there are all sorts of stories to tell but the one I remember most is what happened after I sold him a few 'Hustler' Magazines. Even though George hid them well within large books in his bookshelf, his mother still found them. Poor George. The boy, now in high school and curious about the female anatomy, was given a lesson on the birds and the bees. Seriously.

Well, anyway, our once nicely perverted boy is now head of computer security for the state of Texas according to his dad. Nice. But that's not the thing that threw me off. It's when George's dad took a good look at me and said, "You look so GOOD!" that had me realize that not only does fitness pay off but I'm sure poor George is now huge. Well, he did have to go to Weight Watchers but flunked so...........

It's nice. I run into so many people that say I look so good. Eyes dart to chest or arms. Take your pick but my blue eyes are easily remembered by the moms of kids I once knew. Of course, I had that embarassing incident a few years ago where I ran into a real ex-friend's (total asshole) mom. When she asked me what I do, all I could come up with was what, kids?

All: "Bouncer!"

Yeah, I'm sure that's going to baffle that asshole I hate. Just how did I end up tossing people out of bars instead of crying over the stupid education system that he now lends himself to? Doesn't really matter because bouncers are respected more than teachers.

Okay, you can't say I don't keep my promises because guess what!?! I got Lauren's picture tonight! In fact, I got 5 good ones of her in action since both of us were finally able to schedule a longer than usual night in the gym. Hopefully, the ones of Lauren kicking the shit out of the heavybag turn up well because she was F-A-S-T.

I loves me a tough lesbian of the most unusual kind. Lauren and I can be perfectly friendly with each other because we both like the same thing, independence. I do my thing and she does hers only to end up somewhere around the middle when we talk. Lauren smiled when I said that the bandanna made her look like a total lethal lesbian.

There's something about a woman that can do martial arts. It was completely balletic how Lauren hit the heavybag because I could watch that forever. She zoned everything around her out, leaped up in the air, and did around-the-house punches that would send me flying. Lucky for me, I was just moving around and not needing to say:

"Give me sexy, girl!"

"Meeow!"

"C'mon, make love to the camera."

Instead, you'd hear "Thwap!" "Bam!" "Boom!" and various other noises as the heavybag flew in all sorts of directions. Lauren aint nothing to fuck with. The only way I'd be able to take her down is by using brute strength to hold her arms. Those hands are dangerous when allowed to move.

So, expect more pictures up on my Photobucket account in the near future. I've got 2 pics left so I might use 'em on the geese or something I haven't put up to show. Can't find my Photobucket account of 117 pics? Just ask. Tell me I'm a silly wanker with a big lusty cock who you'd love to have a sniff of his unmentionables.

Come to think of it, I can see why women don't always enjoy the sight of us males when naked. Most of them are fat thanks to the laziness that working 8 hours brings. The only time most women enjoy the sight of a man's wobbly bits is when the belly is toned enough to show its true length. Either that or the less pubes bring about that urge for a woman to gobble it up on sight.

Ugh, I'm a cross between intellectual and horny. On one hand, my balls keep make me feel the churning of semen while my mind wants to get back into Kim Harrison's 'For A Few Demons More.' There's something about a woman having a demon named Al only she owes him a favor. Yes, the dirty side of me would think that a little 69 action could call us even. I want to lick Sara's pussy so freakin' bad since this boy needs his tongue slick with girly juices.

Okay, I just put into my head the images I saw of Karl Rove attempting to rap. You must Google this. One of the most evil men in the world is throwing up signs and dancing. Very. Scary.

So, I'm outta here and hope to do an extra special XXX-Rated entry soon to finish off things I cannot seem to find myself getting into just yet. My little 5-Pound Phooey is the best at keeping this bum of mine in shape but also the type of best friend that feels safe to curl up on my side. Plus, I owe Sammy and email soon. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07