Me: "Yeah, I farted about less than 2 minutes ago."

-It's got to be said that relationships are very unpredictable. Here I was thinking that it was safe to go into Sara's room and read 'Dyke Strippers' (a collection of comic strips by lesbians). Oh, I just had to fart so bad due to an achy stomach. Why not? Sara's away talking to her roommate. The only problem is that she came in less than 2 minutes later after I let one rip quietly. Let's just say that Sara's head was on my ripe firm buttocks so she got the bad end of the deal.

Well, it's a rainy icky day. While there isn't much in the cold area, it's just not one of those days I'd find myself outside much. Unfortunately, comics come out today and I just had to pick up 'Entertainment Weekly's' Sopranos issue. No, I did not see the season premiere but will when I go home.

Yes, I'm still amazed with myself in how I have slowly begun to adapt to life here. I pretty much know the downtown area and have visited the stores that you'll wish you could walk in. One is protected by a small Rat Terrier that enjoys laying on a large pink pillow in the store's front section. You'd be surprised about how a small bite can hurt. I should know. 5 small Yorkshire Terriers aint nothin' to fuck wit'.

I've spent some of my time getting down to exploring my inner horror/sci-fi needs by placing Phantasm into the DVD player only to be stopped. Sara's Scrubs come first but ,when she's off, I do get to enjoy small dwarves chase after a kid and an ice cream man with a sawed-off shotgun. You'd say my taste in movies is weird but I digress. I still hold a soft spot for boobies and foul language that would get me kicked out of your mother's house.

According to the magazine, 'Celebrity Skin,' Belladonna is up for "Best Nipples." Just what constitutes as 'best nipples' anyway?

Bet you wish you could have an ice cream man with a sawed-off shotgun come rescue you.........when confronted with areolas too large for your liking.

Circuit City sucks. They had me wait for a good 15 minutes just to see if they got a Phantasm DVD in. What's the point in advertising something if you don't even carry it? It's no wonder that store is seen as second place to the evil of Best Buy. Why can't stores that make bundles of money get things right and not force us to feel like little kids at the Help Desk? I can read, too, but where's the frickin' stuff I want!?!

I think we learn things through relationships. Sara's got me going on a Sunday of 7 hours of Sopranos and now the grumpiness of the TV show, House. I'm not allowed to play horror films or things that cause her to pull my hair out. Grindhouse was out for last night since the only showing was around 9pm. 3 hours for a Rodriguez/Tarantino flick? Oh, I am so there! The damn movie theater should have had 2 theater rooms showing Grindhouse because some of us have to wake up early.

So, I've had a pretty good week. Easter was spent at Sara's parents' house. Yup, I painted eggs with her mom while her dad came in to say, "This is such a waste of time." Men, they just don't understand an artist's need for creativity. 1 egg had my name on it so do I need to use my tongue to blow a raspberry?

Well, I'm outta here as I suspect that cat will be hunting me down in insisting I curl up with it. No farts are predicted for this evening so we're pretty safe curled up in each other's arms. Gotta shower alone, though. Oh, to wash myself and mah private parts all by my lonesome. Only girls can reach the balls' hard to find spots that cause the eyes to roll back. Again, ice cream truck guy with sawed-off shotgun.......I'll take 2 Dreamcicles! They're for Jesse Jackson and Rev. Al Sharpton because angry racist blacks need to chill the fuck out. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07