-"Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley

C'mon, how many other guys out there are willing to sing that song!?! Gawd, I loved it so much that it was an absolute highlight to turn on VH1Classic and see this video from the 80's. Where else can a very pale redheaded guy get a black guy to jump up a wall and land right back on his feet while a sexy blonde acts like it's gonna take more than that to touch her maidenhead.

You should know what your 'maidenhead' is.......and, yes, it is lickable.

It's Sunday so you know what that means. Say it with me now.

All: "Hedgie's now as smooth as a baby's bottom and his ass is far more pleasing than the Monarchy's rose garden."

Don't you love Sundays? I used to hate them with a passion because I had to spend so much time working on homework thanks to Accounting. Nothing punishes me more than to see various people having fun outside while I am slaving away at trying to figure out a company's depreciation value after 3 years.

But, alas, Sundays are so nice now what with running around as a 4-legged little feisty (but still feminine to the fullest) beast leads the way. Whether it's poodles or tall grass to leap over, she will find a way to give hell to someone. 5-Pound Phooey has discovered moles and a new enemy has arisen through the shadows, a little jack russell terrier that shouts out his block's numbers to which 5-Pound Phooey responds with more 4-letter words learned by yours truly.

Today, I saw a very large white woman sitting on the bottom of her porch's stairs having a staring contest with a lawn mower. I don't know about you but my money's on the lawn mower.

Since we've gotten past my need to tell the world that not only is my ass quite lovely and smells so good that you'd ask for a good running of your fingers down my bum, I'd like to add that I am now pink. My skin is a bloody good twat-like color due to being outside nearly half the day. Like Bono once said, it's a beautiful day, don't let it get away.

While I enjoy my attempts not to look so pale, it is rather odd to see myself as a pinkish color. My white Calvin Klein t-shirt (still alive even after high school) brings it out. The only problem is that my skin feels so cold when air conditioning is most apparent. That and the fact that I feel most alive when outside, sad when inside.

Could I be one of those? Oh, pish tosh, I'm afraid that I might be going back to childhood where I spent so much time exploring til the sun went down. No lounging around the TV unless it rained and Rick Astley came on. Back then, my only worry was whether the neighbors' cats took a dump in my sandbox again. Cat shit really sucks when you have to stop due to a rather large cat turd blocking a major toy playing moment.

Life is not just outside. Gym time with Kevin (known him since 3rd Grade), his little 10-year-old girl, and girlfriend was fun. Kevin's girlfriend looks like a real-life Suicide Girl. No joke. Tattoos and that face will have any porn addict asking for an autograph or to have a broken bottle put up his ass. Isn't it great that I like a variety of people?

Got flirted with while running with 5-Pound Phooey. It's always great to know that a gorgeous set of eyes follows you around while wearing nothing but a wife-beater. Teenagers. I learned that it's no wonder no one comes out of the house I walk past each day. A teen's grandparents live there and are too old to move around.

It was fun to advertise myself to the neighborhood by wearing a wife-beater. The heat was just too much and my smooth 'pits wanted to feel the breeze some more instead of being concealed behind cotton. Oh, lordy did I get stares and can't wait to tell anyone that asks me about myself that I'm an Ultimate Fighter or bouncer or male model or spokesman for female Viagra.

It's just fun to watch people look at me as I am a freak. A total fucking freak with thick-as-hell arms, a gigantic barrel chest, and shoulders that can engulf you like a great white consuming a seal. Now, you know what Sara has to deal with upon seeing me and why she tells me she feels so safe. So, even if I don't feel masculine inside, I sure as hell give it off.

But little dog with big guy? G-A-Y. Gotta fight the stereotype here, yo. I am so dying to fuck with people's heads that low cut shorts and an obvious thong's whale-tail would really stir things up with the 40-something homeowner crowd just as my black friend's moving here possibly has.

My dad went to an Ultimate Fighting match in Indiana. What shocked me was this man and his anti-violence stance enjoyed it. At $600something seats, you'd better fucking enjoy an event like that since he even had to hang out with the fighters. Lucky shit but guess who works out with the fighters? Me. Nice guys if you can handle mohawks.

So, it looks like I'll be heading to Indiana on Thursday or Friday, folks. As much as I'd want to tomorrow, my mom's biopsy is tomorrow. The surgery calls for no heavy lifting so I'll be up and down with 5 spoiled dogs, etc. Hopefully, Sara and I will get into Spiderman 3 since tickets are already being sold in some places. Plus, she said some really sweet things that calmed me down inside. I need to eat Sara out so bad.

*Blogspot is looking more and more to be my home. Zu, yours is not registering with me. It did at first. Then, zippo. I'll be looking at Blogspot and trying to come up with a new name for myself. 'Hedgehoggy' needs to be retired.*

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07