-Weeds

You know what I like? Black women with a mix of class and sass. My main homegirl, Tamallah, was in the gym and let it out that I have a very large chest for some reason. It was here that I asked her whether her teaching Spin Class after work wore her out. Tamallah, being as crazy as she is, looks down at her ass and tells me to take a peek.

"Mike, that is a ghetto booty. It goes non-stop for hours and hours. You just cannot put this ass out of its misery no matter how hard you try."

Now, bear with me here. There was some really awful white man dancing by me as I walked out of the gym singing The Commodore's 'Brickhouse.' Tamallah stopped me and high-fived me because I am, like, so freaky funny for some reason.

That was my only highlight of the day all due to today being my mom's biopsy appointment. She was gone before I woke up, driven by my dad. Nervousness and a little pacing happened til Mum came home around 4:30pm. Everything's fine so far but we're waiting for the results.

It's pretty hard for me to be my normal goofy self during the day of my mum's biopsy. You try to blot out bad test results and various negative thoughts. My family doesn't have a history of breast cancer but life does have a funny way of fucking with you.

My job has been to take care of 5 dogs. Well, my lazy brother sure as hell wouldn't help, seeing as he took off on his motorcycle to see friends all day. Don't really blame him since no one else can do a better version of Yorkshire Terrier round-up than I.

Up and down the steps all day, that was me. 5 dogs that don't want to get along. Bonnie and Clyde hate 5-Pound Phooey, Ellie-Mae, and Jethro and likewise. There's just too many alphas and 1 lil' one that has bad memories of being pushed around by her littermates. That would be 5-Pound Phooey but she hates everybody in some way.

That's not to say it was all about various hairs flying or claws coming out. While it does get a bit noisy in the house thanks to 5 terriers (a very crazy breed where anything sets them off and, yes, bubble-wrap is considered a weapon by them), I did spend some time thinking up my title for the blog on Blogspot. So far, I've got 4 possibilities that might describe me a little.

No, I'm not going to tell you just yet. This is a big move for me since Diaryland has been a home for me letting things out for.........how many years? Sammy has been with me for the beginning and that's 5 so it's somewhere over that number. I can look it up but that'll be later.

But Blogspot? Looking around, it looks like a nice lil' spot to pitch a tent. No waiting for almost 45 minutes to update. No waiting 5 or more minutes just to send a note (I swear I spent so much time in Sammy's just to send 2 today thanks to her mentioning Baywatch). Diaryland just didn't evolve over time. Far too many server fuck-ups and slowness.

The irony of it all, Diaryland asks me for money to renew my Gold Member status. Please. If I can't even get into my own notes page in under 7 minutes, I really don't give a flying fuck. You've lost me, seeing as a lot of great bloggers are on Blogspot. The creativity scares me but I'll settle down in no time.

I'll be playing around in Blogspot til I'm finally ready. I'm so nervous. Will I be welcomed for my insanity-tuned humor? There are so many with insanely beautiful pictures that I want to share as well. To think I want to start off with a nice picture of my hairless ass just so show my wicked side.

I guess what I'm saying is that today pretty much wore out my creativity. Up and down steps, just to carry various dogs for potty breaks wore me out. Yes, a few are lazy or play hard to get. Yorkshire Terriers are a very snotty breed of dog but 5-Pound Phooey is amazingly easy to deal with. She may pout but she'll eventually end up doing what she's supposed to.

Oh, yeah. My neighbors asked my mom how big my TV is. It seems that they watch sometimes when my windows' blinds are open. Isn't that cool? Sharing various shows and possibly hot sex scenes with the world make me feel like a gifted lil' lamb o' fun. Oh, how I should put in a hardcore porno to see if 46 inches of high definition can get a rise out of them.

So, that's all yo' gonna get for today, seeing as I'm a bit poop'd out with doggiesitting. My mind's on heading on out to Indiana as well since I want to know once and for all whether Spiderman's Venom is ruined by Hollywood. Can you imagine that? Thousands and thousands of geeks crying? Gawd, it just makes me want to get my lightsaber and beat the holy hell out of a Batman doll. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07